My Q [30/M] and I [27/F] broke up recently, about a month ago. He ended things because he says he knows he can’t be the man/boyfriend that I deserve and doesn’t want to drag me down with him. I didn’t fight him on this. We have remained in touch. He called me the other night to talk and told me he’s been struggling a lot with having lost me, says he’s still in love with me, can’t imagine us being with other people, hates imagining me being intimate with another person, etc. I could tell during the conversation that he was hoping I’d say ‘ok let’s try again’. I instead told him that there can never be an ‘us’ as long as he is using. And even then he would need to maintain sobriety for a substantial amount of time if I were to even consider it and had not already moved on by then. He gave me a million reasons why he can’t do the 12 steps (says he can’t get over the god aspect of it), why he can’t go to rehab (work, rent, his cat, etc.) and says that he just needs to detox. He said he wants to take a week off and detox in my apartment on my couch so he has someone there for moral support. I asked him how detoxing is going to solve the underlying issues that drive his addiction, not to mention the risks associated with quitting cold turkey. He mentioned some medication his doctor can give him to help, I don’t know the specifics as I couldn’t really keep up with everything he was saying. I care a lot for him, but I am concerned. I know what he is saying doesn’t logically make sense. This feels like one big trope to keep me within arms reach, especially with wanting to detox at my place. I really can’t agree to let him do that. But I also feel bad because I want to support his recovery. I’m also wondering if it’s even healthy for us to be in each other’s lives at all, which is a devastating thought.