Hey everyone!! First post here!!! 31F

Without giving the longest backstory, I will just say that as a result of my ADHD, sheltered lifestyle, childhood trauma, health issues like severe GERD and dysautomnia induced by stress and lingering C0VID and the whole pandemic itself has led me to develop bad health/cardiac anxiety and agoraphobia.

My anxiety is made worse by too much stimulus, extreme weather/temps, tight indoor spaces, big crowds, hospitals, and whenever I'm having a poor physcial health day (which has been every day for a while practically).

I am currently seeing a therapist for intense CBT and exposure therapy and seeking treatment for my ADHD since I have not been on meds for it since 2023. Also seeing a cardiologist soon to rule out heart stuff since I also recently found out I was born with a BAV (bucupsid aortic valve)

Anyway, my bestie from middle school while she has been patient and supportive for the most part, she sometimes comes off as insensitive or whenever I feel like going outside for something not physcially intensive and overall chill to avoid a panic attack, she suddenly comes up with all these other things she wants to tag on like making a full day/half day when I'm extremely limited to the things I can do and for how long. Like right now I can handle going out for a quick lunch.

I feel bad, because sometimes I grieve my past self that had all the energy and less anxiety/fears and was able to do all the things with her. I also know we are all dealing with stuff these days and are crazy busy as adults anyway. I don't even have a 9-5 at the moment, feel like my anxiety could not handle a job that wasn't at all remote and I have to take care of my Mom while she goes through chemo anyway. I don't want to burden or lose friends, but I also am trying to fall back on peaple pleasing habits because I just don't have the energy for that anymore. Trying to respect where I'm at still even when I'm still in a very bad place despite the progress made in the previous few months.