The affair I'm looking for: I don’t need to explain why I’m here. Loneliness, need for physical touch, desire for companionship, lust, feeling wanted… all that. I need an affair to be much more than just physical. Although physical chemistry is important, a wonderful and sexy personality with common interests and things we can do and talk about together will deepen attraction far beyond looks alone. Oh yeah, ultimately I’m only seeking one lover -- I like to get as close to exclusivity (in a non-possessive way) as possible and I can't multi-task for shit (ADHD FTW).

What does it look like specifically? Imagine having a lovely, emotionally intelligent, kind, curious, engaged secret boyfriend who is damn good at giving you all the things you are missing with your SO. Both of us understand that we can't be dummies and fall too far into the l-word abyss, but we aren't afraid to give to each other emotionally. We go on dates together, play tennis, go for hikes/runs, keep each other up on books / shows / movies we like, listen to records / make each other playlists, cook food, travel or go on getaways whenever we can make it happen.

How this will work: This is not my first affair. I'm lucky enough now to be able to host. I live (by myself) in a cabin in the mountainous redwood area of the Peninsula during the weekdays… it’s awesome and feels like camping staying there. Complete with wood-burning stove! I feel kind of like a weird mountain hermit sometimes. I'd love to find someone who eventually is comfortable (excited) to hang out with me here and be cozy, mostly available weekday afternoons and evenings. I can be flexible to a degree to meet you where you are, too. Socal folks (LA area) could also potentially be considered, but I am overall less available to meet and OPSEC/logistics are more of a challenge. Also, note that the holidays are just weird for logistics in general.

More about me (the person): I’m an anxious creative (music-maker, baker, reader/writer, tennis obsessor, dog lover), an introverted person comfortable with solitude (but who ironically also used to play shows for 1000s and still does a lot of public speaking at work), and a very kind-hearted fellow who is effusive in loving his people. I'm pretty confident, but (late bloomer) not too full of ego. Tend to lean dominant. Generally don't suffer fools.

Me (physically): I’m very tall (6'4"), shaved bald head, HWP (200lbs) with an athletic build. I am told that I look more like 40 and that I’m handsome (by more people than just my mother). I don't have problems attracting women with my appearance. Caucasian, olive skin, Mediterranean/Jewish-looking features, big brown eyes, very large hands and feet. Will share face pics within the first couple of exchanges

You (ideally): I’m seeking someone who loves themselves and has done the work of understanding their narrative of why they are here. This should not be your first affair. It's important that we both know how to handle ourselves. I care about your willingness to take care of yourself as well as to allow yourself to be joyful and free. Trust is earned, and we are all cheaters here, so it’s complicated. I value direct communication and developing a deep bond with trust as its foundation. Self-possessed, funny, very physical and into fitness and mental health, has creative outlets and curiosity about the world. Loves sex, touching and being touched, but looks for the right connection to pour this energy into. I want us to both want each other deeply and not fear expressing that desire. Be local to SF Bay please (or at least California).

First Contact: Please DM/chat me if you'd like to talk. Tell me about some things that have brought you joy this year! What were the last three songs you became obsessed with? What's the last joke you heard that made you snort-laugh? Why are you here?