I tried 5 MEO (bufo) for the first time in a ceremonial setting. Could you please help me interpret the experience and see where I can go from here.

The way the ceremony would go is an initial ‘handshake’ dose (assuming smaller quantity ) that last a few minutes, followed by a full dose and another full dose each suppose to last from 12-20 min or so depending on a person. And then finishing with the final ‘gratitude’ dose which I think is a brief one like the ‘handshake’ one. I’ll have to mention straight away I only did 1 full dose that day.

I came into this trying really hard to accept everything and just trust the process just fyi.

So as I inhaled the first handshake dose my mind initially blacked out sitting up with my legs crossed on the floor. As it went back to consciousness I had strong painful tension in my brain and remember thinking ‘What have you (me) done?’ As I saw a colourful spiral and heard distorted sounds of people arround me purging and spitting as the shaman went around the circle giving everyone the initial dose. Shortly after my eyes got vision back and I went to sit outside my body feeling weak. Gradually as people came back to consciousness we had a little chit chat outside. During that the shaman came up to me and asked me to go first. I’ve never tried it before so I wasn’t planning on going first but obliged. Shortly everyone went back inside and I sat in the middle of a circle on the floor with my legs crossed. The shaman said to inhale for 40 sec and hold but I think I blacked out just after about 25-30 seconds of inhaling. Again saw visuals for a brief moment and then went to a blackout again. I woke up in exactly the same sitting position with blurry vision. Took me a minute to recenter myself. My hands and thighs felt shaky and my body felt weak. I wanted to go outside but couldn’t walk by myself so the shaman helped me up. When I asked my friend what happened he said I just sat there silent for 10 minutes not moving at all. After everyone had their turn and and I saw all kinds of ‘purging’ reactions to the medicine we had a break and were going to do the final ‘gratitude dose’. Again I blacked out for a moment but as I started to get my consciousness back in deeply drunken like state I saw people again either violently purging or walking around feeling deep sense of love. This lasted another 5 -8 minutes before everyone was back to normal depending on the individual.

I have a feeling I might be very sensitive to the medicine and need a much much smaller dose. Or maybe its not right for me? It was quite an experience. I guess I’m just not sure what to do with it now. Any advise would be greatly appreciated :)