Integration with the bufo experience has mostly taken care of itself, I feel like I have been led to do what I need to be doing, on the whole. The biggest part of the experience, the most healing and eye opening and jaw dropping part was to feel all my worries, all my fears that I've carried my entire life, just drop from my shoulders as I stood to look at the most amazing sunset I've ever seen. The feeling of letting go of it all, totally unattaching myself from so much pain and heaviness was the most natural act I have ever performed, and I felt like the pure human I knew I was, but which had been buried under negative, self delusion. Empowered by truth and an open heart full of love for myself and the world I was seeing and that which i was part of. Alive. I still carry an echo of that sense of pure self. It is almost overwhelming right now. I couldn't fall asleep this evening, so I got up to read. Instead I wished to share this on here. I have the idea that I expend a lot of energy to shield myself from this power within me. I lie to myself, I spin stories and untruths to convince myself that I am weak and deeply flawed. That I am ugly, that I should be ashamed of myself for being how I am and who I am. That I cannot compete in life, that I should remain in the background, in the shadows, unheard and unseen. I liken this integration to being on waterskies behind a boat. That I have connected to something that at times pulls me hard to step into the pain I carry. That makes me face these seemingly impossible tasks. But I remember the strength I felt that evening. I felt I could conquer any doubts or fears, that any hint of negativity would dissolve on my chest. Tomorrow I have a hard task, I must step into the arena. My stomach is a brick, but I feel my heart is soft and calm. I will let it guide me, to follow it into interactions, to have faith in my goodness, and to welcome the experience, because there, in that space is my growth, and the beginning of new opportunities and expanding life. I wish myself and everyone out there, a fruitful day. Spread love, share truth with others, experience, and reflect.