I keep cheating on her

I am a white male 39 years old, but I have no attraction to my wife, I have hooked up with a number of guys while traveling, and a few women, I am am addicted to eating p#say and I don’t mind $ucking a good c0ck. I cannot get hard for her and I know I am a degenerate but I don’t want to change. What is wrong with me? And why would I prefer a night at Blue moon than a night with her? My psychiatrist tells me long stories, but I don’t want to accept it. (He brings religion into the sessions, and I don’t want to go there). I want to continue having fun… and it’s only for a few years (until my kids are 18). But after that I am available for whatever I want. I still want to play in a discrete way. I could play each day. I’m not a bad person, but I have found what makes me happy. I just want to be happy….. send me info if you want random suck offs and hook ups ….